every thought, a thought of you.

all i want, all i strive for is to glorify the one who deserves all the glory.

and isn’t his love and grace just so worth it?

i believe that one of the most important aspects of life is joy. if you haven’t got that, you haven’t got much.

altogether, exceedingly appropriate. bland and tasteless, nothing new. lips like stone, she’s unaware. such appeal, wrapped around her borderline attributes. extremely self defeating, walking skeleton, gave up eating, and she’s wasting away to what disguises itself as greatness. go ahead, wade in that bitterness, and let her pride lead the way. after all, there’s grace, and we all need the same amount. it grows like fruit at the peak of the tree, we all race for it, claw at out neighbors for it, seethe with animosity for it. we’ll never know the vast reality of it all until we stop ascending enough to reminisce. what was it he said? the peak is within us?

i’m proud of you.

i’ve never truly felt like i’ve been on an emotional roller coaster until today. it was my last day of practicum, and i was up last night until 2 am writing case notes. and then there was no coolant in my car. and i didn’t have any. so i was late to my last supervision, where my supervisor had to leave halfway through because one of her clients was in crisis. and then i went to write thank you notes to everyone in my office, and they walked in when i was bawling. and THEN…everything in the day just went wrong. literally everything.

and then i was AN HOUR late to my midterm.

that i failed.

and then i just kept crying in class.

and then i went in my purse to get some gum and i found two cards in there.

from my coworkers, and one said “we arent going to find anyone to replace you in this position because you set the bar too high.”

and that made me feel so good.

and then there was a starbucks card in the other one, with a note that said, “i miss you already.”

and that made me cry a little.

and then i got a text from the person i probably look up to more than most anyone.

and it said, “in all my 20 years of working in this profession, i can say that you are what i am most proud of. i’m really…so proud of you.”

and i definitely cried after that. but for happy reasons. such a crappy day really took a turn. it’s crazy how hearing how much people love you and hearing the words “i’m proud of you” can make such a difference.

today at work i had to remind my girls that april is my last month as a therapist intern.

most just cried, and one walked out, and one said she “quits recovering now.”

i know they’re not my babies,

but it was pretty cool to be able to love these foster kids for a year.

i don’t want to leave.

i wanted to punch a wall too “/

i don’t know. i know that i stand up for these kids…when their parents walked out on them, or just gave them horrible lives, and other adults treated them like they’re worth nothing…and i know that i love them fervently, and what breaks my heart, is that they told me they feel like they’ll never feel ‘loved’ again.

that just can’t be true. all the staff there loves them…

…ugh this is just so hard.

im gonna miss my babies. i really am.

if you’ve ever thought about being a foster parent…don’t think. DO. please? they’re just the best.